The EdwardSorry Edgar Allen Poe
by Masochist Sloth
Summary: Another Raven re-do but I wanted to do this so I did. It's suppost to be funny in a weird way but I don't mind if you don't like it (one shot)


**Hikari: This is a ficcy I did for fun in class one day... my cousin liked it (she thought it was funny) so I decided to put it up! I was going for weird, funny, or boring**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this... it's a one shot that's all in good fun!**

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. While I nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "Tapping at my chamber door, only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, and each separate dying ember wrought its Ghastly upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; Vainly I had sought to borrow. From by books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Tsuki. For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Tsuki. Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain, rustling of each purple curtain, thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still my beating of my heart, I stood repeating, "'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door. Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, "Sir," said I, "Or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, and so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door. That I scarce was sure I heard you." Here I opened wide the door; Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, and the only word their spoken was the whispered word, "Tsuki!" This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Tsuki!" Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. "Surely," said I, "Surely that is something at my window lattice: Let me see, then, what the thereat is, and this mystery explore. Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; "'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a hop and skip, in there stepped a stately Edward of the saintly days of yore; not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door. Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door. Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this yellow Edward beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, by the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore. "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore. Tell me what they lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian Shore!" Quoth the Edward, "WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A SHRIMP WHO SHOULD BE SERVED UP WITH COCTAIL SAUCE!"

Much I marveled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, though its answer little meaning, little relevancy bore; for we cannot help agreeing that no living human being, ever yet was blest with seeing Edward above his chamber door, Pikachu or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, with such a name as "WHO YOU CALLIN' SMALLER THAN A GRAIN OF SAND!"

But the Edward, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only that one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered, not a hair then he matted, till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before, on the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." Then the Edward said, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I GOT A SPARKLEY IN MY EYE!"

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, "Doubtless," said I, "What is utters is its only stock and store, caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore of 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I GOT A SPARKLEY IN MY EYE!'."

But the Edward still beg beguiling all my fancy into smiling, straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of the mouse, and bust, door; Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking fany unto fancy, thinking what this ominous mouse of yore, what this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous mouse of yore, meant in croaking "SPARLEY IS TURNING MY EYE PINK!"

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing to the rodent whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; this and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining on the cushion's velvet lining what the lamplight gloated o'er but whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er, she shall press, ah, Pikachu!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer, swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled of the tufted floor. "Wretch," I cried, "Thy god hath lent thee, by these angels he hath sent thee respite, respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Tsuki! Quaff, oh Quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Tsuki!" Quoth the Edward, "DIEING CAN'T SEE! STUPID PINK SPARKEY!"

"Prophet!" said I, "Thing of evil! Prophet still, if mouse or devil! Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed the here ashore, desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted, on this home by horror haunted. Tell me truly, I implore, is there, is there balm in Gilead? Tell me, tell me, I implore! Quoth the Edward, "WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A MOUSE!"

"Prophet!" said I, "Thing of evil!- Prophet still, if mouse or devil!" By that Heaven that bends above us by that God we both adore. Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Tsuki. Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Tsuki!" Quoth the Edward, "I am NOT a MOUSE!"

"Be that word our sign in parting, mouse of fiend," I shrieked, upstarting. "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no yellow plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! Quit the bust above my door! Take thy tail from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" Quoth the Edward, "I have told you I AM NOT A MOUSE!"

And the Edward, never squeaking, still is sitting, still is sitting on the pallid bust of Pallas above my chamber door. And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon rat's that is dreaming, and the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor, shall be lifted- by I am not short…

**Hikari: Review**


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